


i need to be the one who takes you home

by throwaway18



Series: she keeps me warm [7]
Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29805378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwaway18/pseuds/throwaway18
Summary: when the words, “I like you,” fall from wendy’s mouth, irene isn’t sure how to respond.
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Jennie Kim/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Series: she keeps me warm [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790314
Comments: 22
Kudos: 48





	i need to be the one who takes you home

When the words, _“I like you,”_ fall from Wendy’s mouth, Irene isn’t sure how to respond. The younger girl says it like it’s something so trivial, offhandedly confesses her feelings out of the blue to Irene who freezes on the floor of the balcony of their shared apartment. They have spent the entirety of the night bouncing from a variety of topics, letting their laxed conversation flow freely to wherever it would lead them.

But it was never in Irene’s expectations to have them be led to _this._

Wendy deciphers Irene’s silence as a sign of surprise, and she gives her an awkward giggle, probably to suppress her uneasiness and to soothe the growing tension between them. She looks over to Irene tentatively, her eyes trained to the older girl’s own unblinking ones. She forces out a small smile, but her lips only manage to form a strained thin line.

“But I know you don’t feel the same way.”

Irene couldn’t bare gazing directly into Wendy’s gloomy eyes, and the forlorn expression she’s wearing just fills her chest with a heavy amount of guilt, so she averts her stare to something behind her.

Because Irene has somehow known all along.

There have been too many indicators, too many incidents that Irene has suspected Wendy’s true feelings towards her dating back to their high school years. But she has turned a blind eye multiple times to convince herself it was all in her head, that she was placing some unnecessary malice into their friendship.

This time, however, her suspicions have proved to be correct.

“I’m sorry,” is all Irene could say. She doesn’t waste her breath on sugarcoated consolations by stating how she truly feels about Wendy, how she simply sees her as her goofy best friend, her younger sister and nothing more beyond the wavering boundaries of friendship. The admission would only add insult to injury, and piling more pain and sadness in Wendy’s somber features isn’t what Irene would want.

But the affirmation through Irene’s apology is also enough to break Wendy’s heart, chucking it out to the street down below, the shattering of declared emotions resounding between them. Irene could _feel_ the tension mounting at every waking second. She could see it from the half-smile Wendy musters, how her shoulders have sagged the moment _I’m sorry_ comes out from Irene, and how those two words have nearly broken the barrier that has been preventing a lone tear from escaping Wendy’s left eye, glassy from the moisture building up at the corners.

Yet, Wendy still manages to tell her, “Don’t be sorry. Sometimes, you just can’t help but fall for someone you can’t have. It’s life.” She shrugs nonchalantly, hurt cloaked by a mask she wears to protect herself, and Irene would have to give her a lot of credit for being so bold to be able to do this, despite knowing her chances are slim to none.

Irene embraces Wendy beneath the dimming night sky, commends her for her bravery, thanks her for her honesty albeit going unrequited. Her roommate and trusted friend of eight years assures her that she won’t let her silly feelings get in the way of their friendship, says how she would rather have Irene as her best friend rather than not have her at all.

As the warmth of Wendy’s flesh against Irene heats up her skin, the older girl distractedly wonders why she couldn’t return those feelings when Wendy is nothing but pure goodness with a heart of gold.

She wonders if liking Wendy in a manner that treads into the territory of something more would be possible.

Irene doubts it would happen.

Well, at least, not yet.

***

It’s understandable how their relationship doesn’t immediately revert to how things had originally been. They had picked up on a rocky start, both of them clumsily trying to get back to their old routine, trying not to talk over the other, trying not to get flustered from talking over the other. A mess would be an understatement to describe their situation, but on the brighter side of things, they strive to make it work.

Roommates can’t just avoid the elephant in the room.

And Irene doesn’t want to give Wendy any more reason to have her feelings blossom beyond repair. She’s aware that feelings don’t just magically fade overnight. Nobody wakes up the next day to be healed from the emotional turmoil. Moving on is a work in progress, urging Irene to give Wendy as much space as she should have, spending lesser time than usual at the apartment, with Irene clinging on to Seulgi, and Wendy hanging on to Joy.

A small sacrifice to have everything return to normal when feelings weren’t placed into the complicated equation.

Their arrangement yields results in a matter of months. Wendy no longer flinches whenever she and Irene get too close, no longer stares at Irene when she thinks the older girl doesn’t notice, and no longer harbors a frown when their friends talk about Irene getting linked to other students in their university. It had been a lengthy process, but it was adequate time for Wendy to be comfortable again at being alone with Irene without the anxiety breaking at her nerves.

Irene, on the other hand, remains cautious with every move she makes as subtle as she possibly can. So on the day of the Ariana Grande concert, she rings up her old friend, Jennie, offering her an extra ticket she had purchased in case she chickens out (it would have been the first time for her and Wendy to hang out by themselves since the confession), and to her relief, Jennie thankfully accepts the offer.

“I hope you don’t mind but I invited Jennie,” Irene informs Wendy on the drive to the venue.

“Yeah, it’s not a problem.” Wendy has met Jennie in the past, but the two haven’t really hung out like this before.

Upon arriving, Jennie is already there, arms wide open to lock Irene in one of their famous bearhugs, shaking off the nervousness from Irene’s back. Jennie and Wendy exchange a little too formal greetings before the three college girls head to the balcony where their seats are located. The concert whizzes by in a blur, the three of them singing along to the lyrics of the songs they are familiar with, Irene snapping photos and videos for her younger sister who is stuck in school to attend.

The next thing Irene knows, they are enjoying their backstage passes (perks of being related to Seoul’s mighty songbird, Kim Taeyeon), having their photos taken with Ariana Grande, their stutters very indicative of their excitement at meeting their favorite artist.

The day ends, and the formality between Wendy and Jennie fizzles out into smoke. It pleases Irene how two people from different parts of her life are getting well acquainted, going as far as exchanging numbers and following each other on social media. She’s glad Jennie tagged along for the concert.

“Jennie’s pretty fun,” Wendy comments while walking from the toilets to the lobby where Jennie waits for them. There’s a glint in Wendy’s eyes that Irene recognizes from somewhere her memory couldn’t exactly pinpoint, the same sparkle she used to see many months ago.

Irene ignores the weird déjà vu as irrelevant.

She doesn’t realize how a single night out with her two best friends would change the course of their friendship.

***

“Are you ready to go?”

Wendy peeks inside Irene’s hotel room as she readies herself for the day. She should be looking forward to the free time from their university’s one week excursion in Japan, and she should be excited about on her most awaited trip to Disney later. But all she could think about is how Wendy would be nothing but sidetracked as soon as Jennie comes into picture

“Jennie says she’s right outside.” Wendy steps in, waving her phone in midair and briefly flashing Irene a glimpse of the text messages between her and Jennie.

It’s flooded with emojis.

Irene tells herself she doesn’t care what they do.

Whatever.

She is second guessing her decision to push through with their plan. Irene is juggling from wanting to opt out and lock herself in her hotel room, to not wanting to leave Wendy and Jennie to enjoy themselves at the happiest place on earth. She poises herself in true Irene Bae fashion, bites back a scowl the moment a stupid smile spreads on Wendy’s face at Jennie’s new message and pretends the whole thing between her best friends don’t bother her the least bit.

Irene swallows down the unsettling feeling.

They go around Tokyo for half of the day, visiting shops and boutiques, courtesy of Jennie who has the streets of Tokyo memorized like the back of her hand. She recommends them to stop by a food cart to grab some insanely sweet marshmallow treats, but the only flavor that lingers on Irene’s tongue is bitterness as Jennie laughs heartily at a joke Wendy had cracked.

Irene should have faked sick at the hotel.

Reaching Disney at Sea escalates Irene’s spiraling mood. Wendy continuously hands Jennie several goofy accessories to try on, capturing every silly item with her camera, while Irene entertains herself with a bunch of snow globes. Anything to get rid of the upsetting sensation at the base of her belly.

Now, she _does_ feel sick.

Irene wouldn’t say she is being completely left out by the other two, it’s just that their interactions have been gone on an unexpected turn, from Jennie’s unusually boisterous laugh to Wendy’s newfound habit of holding Jennie’s hand.

Sure, she still holds Irene’s too, but not in the familiar manner her fingers would slide down to intertwine them with Jennie’s. The sight of it feels as though someone had pulled a rug underneath Irene’s feet, flipping her entire world upside down, and she’s falling with no one there to catch her, and she desperately wants to rip her hair out asking herself:

_Why?_

_Why now?_

And when the fireworks display come into motion, the colorful lights decorate the sky and Jennie watches in awe, unaware of the same awed look Wendy is currently sending in her direction.

The same awed look Wendy _used_ to give Irene.

Her heart cracks, piece by piece, at every fiery explosion, at every millisecond Wendy spends admiring an oblivious Jennie. Irene’s vision is stuck on autofocus, blurring the people surrounding them, unable to tear her gaze from the very image that is pushing her heart to beat out of her throbbing chest.

“So do you guys want to hang at my place? I’m staying at our family’s condo, I could drop you guys off at your hotel in the morning.” Jennie proposes once the sky has cleared.

“Um, I guess—”

“Tiffany-unnie requested for Wendy and I to be early tomorrow for a briefing.” Irene interjects before Wendy could agree to the proposal.

_It’s a lie._

But Wendy believes Irene since she’s the more organized one out of the two of them, and in thirty minutes, they’re seated at the back of the cab that Jennie had booked for them. The ride is quiet, save for the Japanese radio station that’s playing through the speakers. Wendy groggily leans her head on Irene’s shoulder to rest, habitually taking her roommate’s hand in hers as she succumbs into slumber.

She doesn’t lace their fingers together like before, the intertwinement loose and half-hearted, hitting Irene with another stab into her chest, the blade digging in deeper in excruciating slowness. It twists her insides until it stinging hot tears are begging for their release. Her teeth clamp onto her lower lip, easing the tremors caused by the wave of emotions overtaking her already crumbling composure.

Irene cannot allow herself to breakdown in Wendy’s presence. She squeezes her eyes closed, and nips harder onto her lip in an attempt to disregard the sobs that threatened to spill from her trembling mouth. She utilizes this moment to shakily interlock their fingers herself, pressing hers onto Wendy’s warm and unresponsive ones.

Just one more before she completely lets her go.

Because for one last time, she needs to be the one who takes her home.

**Author's Note:**

> a converted jenlisa one-shot i wrote in 2019. edited to suit the wenrene pairing. hope you liked it :)


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